I'm not sure if Flashback Friday is the best day to publish
this post, but I'm just back from the Spanish leg of this years tour and it's
been a while since I posted. A few weeks ago I booked a holiday with a few friends to the
beautiful Canary Islands, Tenerife to be specific. For anyone who is thinking
about visiting these islands or just considering a sun holiday read on for my island
observations and group analysis.
The restaurants -
I don't know if I've ever been anywhere where the food was great everywhere I
ate. There is always the niggling fear in the back of your mind that you may
not be eating exactly what has been indicated on the menu (assuming you don't
know what donkey, rat, cat meat tastes like). The only thing that was a slight discouragement
was probably the gentle harassment you get on the street to try and get you to
come in and eat with men randomly shouting “Come on ladies, amazing food and
free parking” as we cycle past on our rented bikes.
The nightlife – the trend of gentle harassment spills out the pubs
and clubs. A swarm of young promoters are rushing towards your taxi door before
you’ve even paid your fair. “Alright dahlin, you know where yo goin tonight?”.
If you make eye contact you’re swooped into a tiny bar which could only ever
have been originally intended as a retail unit. As much as you stress you only
want one Captain Morgan and coke you are handed 2 Captain Morgans, 3 tequilas and a tall glass of Sex on The Beach (hold the Peach Schnapps and Vodka) for
the meager price of €5. Despite what can only be described as a mild form of bullying you wake up in the morning feeling refreshed as the drinks are so
watered down and realising you had the best night ever with random dance offs
and watching the occasional person who thinks they can break dance.
The waterparks – Yes, it’s inevitable you will go to a water park,
and the park of our choice was Siam Park. It is massive and one of the biggest
attractions of the resort, so much so that when we arrived we were told “We are
full come back another day”. Sorry love, we are here for a limited time only.
So we are told we can enter but to be aware of the long ques. We didn’t care
about waiting we would work on our tans in the meantime. Well, we hadn’t
anticipated the slight delirium that would ensue as a result of extended sun
exposure and lack of fluids. I’d never been surrounded by so much water and yet
be so dehydrated at the same time. By the time I reached the top of the que I
had spent an hour building the anticipation of the massive water slide and
therefore was screaming like a baby before I’d even gotten into the dingy. But
yes, it was worth the wait.
The accommodation – we were very lucky that our apartments were relatively
modern as some places looked like they could have been dated when my parents
went on honeymoon*; cycling along the promenade feels slightly time warpy. Once
they are clean and out of cockroaches reach you are doing pretty well. However,
be prepared to feel detached from the outside world. We paid €20 for the use of
wifi for a week. It didn’t work in our room and when I asked the lady who had
sold us to it she asked “What room you in?” I told her 228 and she said it
worked everywhere but that room and continued to work with a very
computer-says-no attitude. I didn’t argue, it was actually nice to detach for a