MISCELLANEOUS MONDAY : What’s so super about it?


My last blog post I discussed some of the normalities of everyday life, namely a trip to the dentist. Today’s blog post will analyse my trip to the supermarket. It’s not exactly a daily thing, I nip in maybe once a week and pick up a few bits, sure ya know yourself. However, for some strange reason, it always seems to be a huge task for me. My inner monologue goes into overdrive and if I didn't care what other people thought of me I’d be full on talking to myself but I don’t think I'm there yet.

Image source: simpsons.wikia.com


It’s not a straight forward activity, well it isn't for me anyhow. I go through a strange process each time.


Firstly, I decide: Skinny or fat…. So will this be a skinny shop or a fat shop? Start as you mean go on and all that. If I manage to bypass the special offer biscuits with swift gusto then there’s a good chance of me making it through the supermarket and out the exist with simple skinny shop of veg, salads and probably some quinoa (which I don’t even know what it really is and I’m sure it’s not that good for you but I appreciate a good marketing attempt) but if the doughnuts are on offer there’s a good chance I’ll leave with a plastic bag full of goods with a total nutritional value of -16,000.

WHAT ARE YOU?!   Image source: cookdiary.net

Then starts: The judge factor …. and the judging begins. It’s majorly dependant on my above decision. So if I’m swanning around the shop with a basket full of courgettes and kale and someone walks past with oven chips I’m all like “wow, how can you do that to yourself? rather you than me. My body is a temple.” However, if I’ve decided on a fat shop of Ben & Jerry’s and someone walks past with natural yogurt and berries I’m all like “oh get over yourself. January is nearly over. Do you know how much sugar is actually in raspberries?!”


Following on from that : frustration station … how am I supposed to make this Jamie Oliver bish bash bosh Sweet Potato Mash if there are no sweet potatoes? Or any potatoes for that matter... it’s only 6.30 how could you be out of stock of anything? And seriously they need turn down the heat in the refrigerators, it doesn't appear cool enough as the lettuce is sat there sweating. Nothing more gross.

How ye ?

And finally : payment scheme …

Cashier: “so that will be overpriced for what you purchased. Would you like to pay with cash or card?”
Me: “Card please.”
Cashier : “Oh sorry the machine is broken.”
Me: “What do you mean the machine? Was Johnny 5 processing Visa payments this evening?”
Cashier : ****Blank face, too young to get the reference.
Me: “Forget it, I’m getting Supermacs.”



 
Image source:www.johnny-five.com

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